SCENE!


Set the scene – A television studio, London (England for the US among you), 1952. Picture the sharp suits, the cigarette-smoking executives with the natty waistcoat, their waxed slick hair and uncomfortable trouser waist-line. Picture the huge cameras, hunched on their stands. Picture the sickeningly beige and grey backdrop of the London skyline.

The ‘talent’ sits in the comfortable leather chair, cameramen, make-up ladies and lighting crew getting ready for the interview of the century. That’s THE INTERVIEW OF THE CENTURY.

Backstage I sit, trying to juggle a scantily clad, buxom wench in one hand and a fifty-year old scotch in the other. The effect is curiously calming, although that may be the effect of the weed.

A runner pops his head into the green-room and asks me to make ready for the interview of the century. That’s (once again) THE INTERVIEW OF THE CENTURY.

In the days that follow the fallout from this night’s broadcast will resonate throughout the world, particularly in Belgium.

FADE TO BLACK and the words “There is no punchline”.

One day you will thank me for this small scene.

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15 Comments

  1. This was done while ever-so-slightly tipsy. It is not what I would normally write – I just didn’t know what to write for the blog. But thanks for the support. God knows what I was thinking, having re-read it. Or he would if he existed…
    Hold on, I’m going to try a emoticon… πŸ˜›
    Urgh…no I didn’t like that.

    Reply

    1. Maybe you will be another Ernest Hemingway (the drinking part, not the suicide part, heaven forbid!). I thought it was good, I could picture the scene in my head. One of my favorite, guilty pleasure authors, Diana Gabaldon, shares one paragraph a day from something she is writing as her blog post. It’s fun. You should try that.

      Reply

      1. Nah, I’m no drinker. Can’t hack the hangovers. I would maybe share some of my scribbles, but it’d be a bit too much like hanging it all out there.

  2. Well, writing does often feel like you’re standing there naked for everyone to see, but the fact is that someone has/or is going to see you naked someday anyway! Someone is going to read what you write someday, Jdaitken. πŸ™‚

    Reply

    1. I’d let you read a chapter or so, but that’d be it. The fact that you’re about a million miles away in a strange land where dinosaurs roam and cheese is predominately processed helps…

      Reply

      1. I was speaking generally. It doesn’t have to me (although I wouldn’t mind). I was more addressing your ‘hanging out there’ comment. At some point you will have to get used to people reading your stuff. πŸ™‚ if you’re not there yet, I can appreciate that. I was there, and sometimes still am, depending on what they say about it. πŸ˜‰ I also understand fear of rejection, if that is a factor. That’s why I have’t sent anything to a
        publisher, yet. I’m not quite sure why it helps that I live far away…Are you still worried I’m going to show up on your doorstep? πŸ˜‰ By the way, you English are masterful at delivering an insult- one walks away from the
        experience thinking ‘Oh, that wasn’t so bad’. πŸ˜‰

  3. Firstly, thanks for the compliment about being subtly insulting. Some of my favourite writing features subtle insults. Secondly, yeah, it’s prob the rejection thing, but more like I’d hate to pop this bubble of frangible confidence by knowing I’m shit. It’s the old old story…
    Distance, in this instance, is not literal!
    And, if you ever think I am intentionally insulting rather than just bantering, then you have my apology. Not that you would think that, cos I’M THAT GOOD!

    Reply

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