Navel-gazing


As both regular viewers of my posts will know, I am consistant in my inconsistency. I am 15k words into version 3.0 of my current project and I am at the point where I have to decide what my direction is, which has occurred on precisely two other starts of this story. It is a time of ponderous thought and introspection, which is what the regular blogger absolutely LOVEs. There’s nothing better than pontificating about yourself, even if you are pretty much the only person listening.

But you don’t want to hear about my woes, and my crippling inability to get more than a couple of thousand words out on a good day (an optimistic estimate) or how I have no actual talent for writing. No, you want to hear about something interesting.

Well sorry to disappoint, but the forging of a piece of writing IS introspection personified. It is no surprise that agoraphobics love to be writers, as do misanthropes and the perpetually angry, and the reason is that you can dwell on your opinions, your feelings and your peculiarities and use them as fodder to the writing. There are other reasons, but as an angry agoraphobic misanthrope I forget them.

Cathartic is the word. For me the writing is a chance to face the inner demons, of which I have a few –  impressive ones stacked away in my subconscious like angry bats. If I didn’t have my writing I would find my life significantly less bearable. Thank you, words.

 

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2 Comments

  1. Sorry that first comment came out incomplete- I typed it from my phone while I was walking (so, apparently, while I can walk and chew gum at the same time, I cannot type and walk at the same time!). Anyway, what I meant was: Amen to the inner demon thing. I have several myself. They show themselves in the many versions of the same scenes/same stories that I write, of which there are many! Inevitably, the first drafts are always the darkest! But people who know me wouldn’t expect that from me, would be shocked, even, and I’m not ready to deal with that, yet. So, unlike your process, I sit and evaluate all of them from that perspective before I decide which ones I’m comfortable with people ‘seeing’, and that determines the direction the stories take (that’s maybe not the best system…). Sometimes I’m not even that comfortable with that, but the story must come out! I keep those raw, sometimes ugly drafts, though. They seem the purest to me, if that makes any sense. Someday I will have the courage to let one of those stories out! I also have to tell you that I thought it was kind of funny when I read that you don’t consider yourself a perfectionist! (I read your posts backwards from where I started to see what I had missed). Really?! It’s so obvious from what you write that you are. I used to think that because my life is messy, I wasn’t a perfectionist, but I am; about a lot of things. 😉 Keep sharing. I enjoy your posts.

    Reply

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